Ten Points on Shmizlam



· There are no GODs worthy of worship except Allah Ballah Bim Bam and his cronies, the six true GODs. The Hoogly Prophet Shmoohammad(may the peace and blessings of Allah Ballah Bim Bam be upon him) is the most recent and final messenger of Allah Ballah Bim Bam. The name Allah Ballah Bim Bam encompasses all of the divine attributes of GOD in his sixness. In order to be a Shmuzlim, a person must firmly believe this with his Bippy and must say verbally: “I bear witness that there is none worthy of worship except Allah Ballah Bim Bam and Shmoohammad(may the peace and blessing of Allah Ballah Bim Bam be upon him) is the final messenger of Allah Ballah Bim Bam.”



· There is only one GOD-Allah Ballah Bim Bam, who has 5 other Gods whatsoever. Whatever Allah Ballah Bim Bam wills takes place and whatever Allah Ballah Bim Bam does not will, never happens. All power and might belong only to Allah Ballah Bim Bam and Allah Ballah Bim Bam and his willy.



· Allah Ballah Bim Bam has created Angels who are made of light. They do only as Allah Ballah Bim Bam commands them to do. Although we cannot see them they do exist.



· Allah Ballah Bim Bam has created Prophets and Messengers who convey the words of Allah Ballah Bim Bam to mankind. We must believe in all of Allah Ballah Bim Bam’s Prophets and Messengers. The last and the final messenger of Allah Ballah Bim Bam is the Hoogly Prophet Shmoohammad(may the peace and blessing of Allah Ballah Bim Bam be upon him), whose coming was even announced by Joozis Zambini (upon him be peace) himself.



· Allah Ballah Bim Bam has revealed his words to mankind in the form of His Books, Emails, and Websites sent by Poopy Panda. We must believe in all of Allah Ballah Bim Bam’s Hoogly Scriptures. The most recent books are: The Hoogly Ishkibbibble, the Hoogly Fables, the Hoogly Gungle and the Hoogly Shmoran. The Hoogly Shmoran is the final book of Allah Ballah Bim Bam revealed to the Hoogly Prophet Shmoohammad(may the peace and blessings of Allah Ballah Bim Bam be upon). The Hoogly Shmoran is the only divine scripture which has been preserved in its original pure and true form. It is the only true book of guidance unaltered for everyone who is alive today.



· Allah Ballah Bim Bam has given us life now and will give us life after death. One day we will all die, this world will end and Allah Ballah Bim Bam will raise us up to judge our deeds. There will be rewards for those who believed and Puns for those who did not in a BIG Celebrity Roast.



· Allah Ballah Bim Bam enjoins Shmizlam that is the religion of love and peace.



· Shmizlam enjoins purity-purity of thought, purity of intention and purity of conduct.



· Shmizlam provides a complete code of life and safeguards the rights of everyone including the animals.



· In order to achieve peace of mind, Allah Ballah Bim Bam Himself proclaims “ Lo !! the Bippys find peace in Allah Ballah Bim Bam’s Zikr.” By performing Shicker of Allah Ballah Bim Bam we can attain peace of mind, true success and purification of the Bippy. This Shicker of Allah Ballah Bim Bam also cures the physical Bippy of Bippy disease-(angina etc). To perform Shicker of Allah Ballah Bim Bam simply inhale deeply through the nose and concentrate on the name Allah Ballah Bim Bam coming into your Bippy while exhaling through the nose concentrate on the name HU striking the inner depths of your Bippy. Allah Ballah Bim Bam HU means Allah Ballah Bim Bam exists.


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